The Key to Meeting Good People: Talking

I do believe I'm breaking out of my "it's hard to make good friends" rut. Lately I've been meeting cool people just about everywhere I go...and the key to meeting these people, just talking to anyone who seems interesting. Also, not being afraid to go out on a limb and invite them to hang out.

Today was a perfect example of just talking to people. 

Case 1:
-I had today off from the restaurant, so I decided to work on my tan and relax at the beach. I put down my gear and listened to some music and just decompressed after a long stretch of work. Two young guys were sitting near me. I asked them to watch my stuff while I went swimming, and one of them made a comment about my mate, the Argentine tea beverage that I was drinking. We ended to talking for the next hour at the beach about life in Miami, etc. They're brothers, one attends the U of Miami's law school and the other is a freshman at UNC Chapel Hill. Long story short, we all decided to head to Monty's Raw Bar for happy hour and spent a total of 4 hours talking about life, religion, growing up, and many other things. I exchanged numbers with the guy who lives in Miami and we're planning on hanging out sometime soon.

Case 2:
-While waiting in the line to get oysters at Monty's, I started talking with this guy next to me about local happy hours. He turned out to be a local Miami resident who's since moved to Miami Beach with his girlfriend and runs his own legal services company. We talked about running a business, the changing of Miami neighborhoods, and the South Beach lifestyle. Seeing as I'm really lacking male friends and  extremely hard to meet genuinely cool guys in Miami, I decided to just ask the guy straight up if he'd ever want to hang out sometime. He gave me a business card and said to shoot him an email to set up a happy hour hangout with him and his girlfriend.

So, my friends, that's how you go about meeting people. I've always considered myself an outgoing person, but these two experiences today were a bit more outgoing that usual, but both turned out great.

South Beach vs Miami Proper Personality Differences

One of the things that worried me before moving down here was that I read a lot about all these obnoxious, steroid-infused macho type guys and "I only care if he has money" girls. I wasn't looking forward to meeting these people, and luckily, I haven't. Why, you ask?

Because I don't live in South Beach. Plain and simple.

Given, I've only been here for a three months, but almost all of my experiences with people who live in Miami Proper have been good. Decent people from all walks of life, and all parts of the country, who've decided to live in Miami. Many of my coworkers are genuine Miami denizens, all having some Hispanic blood in them, be it Cuban or Puerto Rican.

The same does not go for my experience with people I've met who live in South Beach. Like my below post, the people, in my opinion, who live in South Beach, are in a league of their own, and not in a good way. This is where I've run into the jacked-up dude roaming the streets and the "if he's rich, I'm in" girls. But, these people aren't from Miami, and I wholeheartedly believe that they embarrass the true citizens of Miami. It's a shame that this city is mostly known for that small 20-square-block neighborhood.

So, to all you people out there planning on moving, and living, in Miami. Don't worry. People are nice here. They're genuinely interested in where you're from and why you chose to live in their city. Many completely understand the immigrant story of leaving your home for somewhere new. Don't believe what you've read about the "Miami" type. This type is, unfortunately, based on that sect of people who've infiltrated South Beach, not the great people who fill up the rest of South Florida.

SOBE: Sadly Overrun By Eccentrics

For the record, I JUST invented that acronym. I really hope it catches on, because when it does, this blog will give me dated proof that I created the term.

A coworker of mine recently quipped, "All the assholes of the world gravitate towards South Beach. That's a small area for so many people." I don't completely agree, but he made a very good point.

South Beach is the area south of 20th Steet and, I'd say, from Washington Avenue to the to east. Half of the southern peninsula of Miami Beach is a nice, quiet residential neighborhood. The other half is what has become known as South Beach, or SOBE.

South Beach is known for its wild club scene. Lots of house and techno music, pretty girls dancing in bikinis, the usual. It's right up there with Ibiza as the place to make a name for yourself in the clubbing community. That being said, everyone and their brother comes to South Beach to try to make it. The same goes for New York, but New York is HUGE, South Beach is TINY. All these eccentric personalities are dispersed among all the common New Yorkers. Those same personalities are saturating South Beach, with no locals in the mix to thin out the mixture of eccentric to regular.

Let me explain:

The following personalities all go to South Beach to make a name for themselves:

-Club DJs
-Music Producers
-Go Go Dancers
-Prostitutes
-Rappers
-Strippers
-Club Promoters
-Drug Dealers
-Models
-Porn Stars

All of these people are squeezed into the tiny tip of Miami Beach.

That said, spending time, for me, in SOBE, can be very trying on my mental health. Everyone you meet is extremely attention deprived and doing anything possible to get people to look at them, be it driving in decked out cars with loud music, screaming in the streets, freestyle rapping on a corner, sexually harassing you as you walk by a strip club, offering you drugs, etc. Everyone is trying to be more extravagant than the next. If one guy has his radio at volume level 10, the next guy has to crank is to 20, just to get people to look his way. Well look, here comes guy #3, and you better believe he'll turn his up louder. And so it begins.

The fact of the matter is that you can't put all these people in the same confined space, and expect a normal society to function. It's impossible. Most people I've met have told me they got burned out on SOBE after living there for a few months. You just can't be surrounded by so many wannabes for that much time, it takes its toll.





I've come to realize that you don't see these people in Miami proper. Most, if not ALL, of these SOBE personalities never leave their little sanctuary of sin. Few of the people I have conversed with even know where the Design District, my neighborhood, is. And my neighborhood is considered the most up-coming neighborhood in Miami. These people are just so content in their bubble, they never leave. Which, for all intents and purposes, is great, because I'd rather not see them in my part of town.

I'll be writing about the difference in Beach vs City personalities tonight, and dispelling the myth that Miami natives are unfriendly people.

Latinos (Cubans) Run the Show in Miami

Someone from the north recently asked me about how Latinos are represented in the city. This, coming from a Northerner, is a very normal question. In Minneapolis, the majority of Latinos have low paying, manual labor or restaurant jobs. It's a known fact that the majority of Minneapolis restaurant kitchens, excluding the super fancy ones, are staffed by Latinos. Everyone who's ever worked in a restaurant or sports bar knows that you learn all the street *read dirty/vulgar* Spanish words from "the cooks." Tell me, what casual family restaurant, be it run by Greeks, Albanians, Americans, Chinese, isn't primary staffed by Latinos?

Miami, my friends, is MUCH different.

Latinos, or should I be saying Hispanics*, run the city, and by city, I mean every aspect of the city.

*- I'm actually serious with this question. I'm unsure which is better to use, Latino or Hispanic. I hear both being used by all different kinds of people, so I'm kind of torn. I'm more curious than anything, since I despise being politically-correct for the sake of it.

Back on topic.

If you want to ascend to a position of power in Miami, you MUST speak Spanish and have Cuban blood running in your veins. Why, you ask? Because of the vote. I don't have numbers, and I'm too tired to look for numbers, but I can assure you that the majority of the population that actually votes in Miami is of Cuban descent.

Now I'm not saying that people vote primarily for their own nationality/ethnic group/race, wait, actually, I am. Cubans vote for Cubans, plain and simple. Cubans therefore have the most power in the city. The same reason why 4 of the past 5 Baltimore mayors have been Black. Constituents vote for their own. You need to be Cuban in Miami to be in power.

The past five mayors of Miami:

Willy Gort
Xavier Suarez
Joe Carollo
Manny Diaz
Tomás Regalado

Guess what they all have in common?

(long pause)

You're right...they were all born in Cuba.

Please don't read this post in the wrong way and think I'm a racist and I hate Miami for being "run by Latinos." I am in no way upset about this. I actually think it's very cool. Furthermore, I have absolutely no aspirations of running for public office. If I did, however, Miami would not be a wise location for me.

All in all, I find the whole Latino Power side of Miami very interesting. Coming from my hometown of 4,000 people, where maybe 25 people were immigrants, it's cool to be on the other side for once; I immigrated to Miami, which is, for all intents and purposes, its own separate country.

I, Patrick Jones, a White, 4th Generation, English-speaking American, the majority in the Continental US, am the minority in Miami, and I love it.

What I Use To Think...

Miami is all about flash, Minneapolis is the complete opposite.

I used to think Lamborghinis and Ferraris were cool cars driven by financially successful individuals. Now, I think they're just an exotic rental from a South Beach dealership being driven by someone wrapped up in a false life of luxury that hasn't come to realize it yet.

I used to think people drove well. Now, I realize that Midwestern drivers possess a level of driving expertise that Miami drivers will never achieve. My hand subconsciously flicks on my blinker when I'm driving. I don't even realize it's on unless I look at the dashboard and see it clicking. I would say about 20% of Miami drivers use their blinker. You'd think the cars here didn't have them.

I used to respect public road construction workers. Now, I've lost all respect for them and their lack of work ethic. It's true that you see it once and a while up north, but usually, road construction is done quickly and efficiently. Road crews only have 5 months (summer) to get the majority of their work done, so they work hard and get results. I swear to you, the road crew working on Biscayne Boulevard's underground pipe installation and blacktopping project does the BARE minimum to get by and not get in trouble with the city. I would estimate that at their current pace, which appears to be roughly 2 feet per day, they'll finish the 15-block project by 2050. Minneapolis crews would have this done by Fall 2011, if not earlier.

Beyond that, I can't tell you how many times I've seen poor work ethic in action. Instead of two guys using two wheelbarrows and two shovels to move a pile of gravel, they choose to have one guy, with one shovel, fill the other guy's wheelbarrow, which he slowly moves to the dumping point. What about the classic three guys watching one guy with a pick-ax. Does it take a brain surgeon to figure out efficient work practices? Why is laziness awarded in our society by never ending public contracts? Financial initiative for rapid completion of public works projects must not exist here. Give this to a private company working on a deadline, and you better believe these guys would get their act in gear or get fired.

I'm sure I'll think of more.

Don't read this like I don't like it down here. There are many positives about Miami. I just needed a little venting time.

Making Friends is Hard...Really Hard

This post will come off like a post from my personal diary, because it pretty much is, but I think anyone who's moved alone to a new city, post-college, will be able to relate.

Making friends is not easy. Plain and simple.

Let's analyze how you make friends during the first 22 years of your life:

0-3 years: You don't have friends, you have a Mom.

4-9 years: Most likely on the playground.

10-18 years: Most likely in the classroom, locker room, or extracurricular activity.

18-22 years: Class, clubs, college in general.

I see myself as a very amicable person. When I was in Argentina during my junior year of college, I'd never made more lasting friendships in such a short period of time. I knew these people for no more than 4 months, yet I still stay in contact with them more than I do with people who I lived with for 9 months in the dorms freshman year.

Coming to Miami, I kind of had the same idea that I'd make a big group of friends right away, because it was kind of like another study abroad. However, I left out one large gaping error, there isn't class when you've graduated from college.

Making friends from ages 4 through 22 revolves around the classroom or the educational system. Post college, making friends is a different ball game. 20-somethings go to the bars with their friends, but seldom do you make friends in a bar. I currently find myself in the situation where I've somewhat become a loner, and I'm breaking myself out of this pattern.

I love my alone time. I could ride for hours alone, but I always wind up talking out loud to myself while riding. Bouncing ideas off myself basically. Fishing is the same. Great way to relax, but after awhile, you want someone to talk to.

So, this kind of goes with my previous post, I'm getting a job. Adults makes friends at work; that's how the world works. I'm not just going to randomly walk up to people in bars and say "Hey guy, you seem cool, want to hang out?" That's not going to happen.

I need to immerse myself into the Miami scene and start working so I can start meeting new people. Once I meet said people, THEN we can go hang out in bars and restaurants, but until that happens, I'm done with nightlife. Not to mention, there are a lot of sleazy people in South Beach. I'm really happy I DIDN'T live there. Everyone's all about the club scene, and everyone, mostly douchey guys, brag about knowing some DJ or having "a connection" at the club. Give me an effing break dude, your connection is the guy mopping up puke in the VIP section. Quit trying to front like you're this South Beach mogul!

Rant Over.

Result: I'm getting a job at a nice restaurant to meet people. Being lonely isn't always that fun.

Free Time Isn't That Cool

When I came down here, I planned on spending the first month on vacation, and after that I'd start traveling or job hunting, whichever came first. The first month went well, I was having fun and going to the beach, fishing, etc. However, now that I've been here for seven weeks, I've gotten sick of having so much free time. A friend recently came down from NYC for 9 days on his Spring break, and we had a great time. However, during this time I realized that I need to get my ass in gear. I've spent too much money, and I feel like I need to put traveling on hold for a while. This is okay, because my main destination of Buenos Aires isn't really in condition to be visited right now. It's cold and damp, and when I go, I want it to be warm and dry.

Anyways, back to my feelings of being a bum.

Having free time is great, when it actually has meaning. However, when every minute of every day is "free" you never really feel like you're enjoying this free time. As my friend Tim described it in economic terms, you need to have a constraint on your free time to actually utilize it. When you're a bum, every minute is considered free time, yet you wind up never actually doing anything. However, when you have a full time job, those three hour chunks between ending work and going to bed are milked for all they're worth. Someone who is extremely busy and has three open hours could accomplish more than myself with a whole day available because I'm able to procrastinate.

Looking back at my entire post-high school life, I've always had a job and worked something like 25 hours per week. I wasn't raised in a family where being lazy was acceptable. I was taught that I needed to "learn the value of a dollar" and now, after 6 years of constant labor, I understand that value. I don't understand how someone could be a beach bum and NOT have a job. Working gives me a sense of value that I don't get from living the life of a vagabond. I could easily live for a few more months on my savings account, but I enjoy labor.

So, plan is, I'm applying at all the best steak houses in town. I knew I said I wasnt getting back into serving, but the money is good, and it will give me the drive to put my real "free time" into Text Marketing Miami, my text message marketing company that I'm starting down here. Looking back, I've always been at my most productive when I was working the most. During the fall, I was putting in 32 hours/week at the internship, another 15 at the Loring, and I still read 10 books, found an apartment in Miami, and focused myself better. Plus, word on the street is that servers make close to $300/$400 per night, and that is damn good money.